Behavioral Medicine Center helps heal family heartbreak
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| Adolescent Intensive Outpatient Program supervisor Susan DiehlÐHagerman, MSW, helps families work through their difficulties in a safe, constructive environment. |
Devastation. Heart-wrenching despair. Words could not describe how torn Tom and Barbara Wascoe felt after Danny's suicide.
Horrified, they had watched Danny, their fun-loving, 16-year old son transform into a moody, withdrawn person they hardly recognized.
Sinking in a sea of unanswered questions, the Wascoes were left to wonder why counseling and inpatient rehabilitation had been powerless against their son's battle with drugs.
Sheer terror struck the Wascoes again, three years later, when Andy, their youngest son, started exhibiting the same behavior. What sucked the life out of Danny now had its poisonous fangs deeply imbedded in Andy. Like his brother, Andy withdrew, becoming sullen and depressed as he entered the world of drugs. "Nothing is wrong," Andy would deny, when his parents approached him.
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| Andy Wascoe, now drug-free, looks forward to a bright future. |
Following Danny's death, Andy, it seemed, grieved normally. A counselor told the Wascoes Andy needed no further counseling. Andy, he informed them, had healthfully dealt with his brother's death. "Our family was still grieving Danny," Barbara remembers. "We had no idea that Andy would start using drugs."
A sea of unanswered questions turned into an ocean of despair as Tom and Barbara wondered what they could do to save their son. Again, they tried counseling. But like an oyster guarding a pearl, Andy kept his secrets hidden deep within his shell.
Improvements were painstakingly slow. Andy would stay clean for a little while, but then return to using.
"Our family was splintered," Tom remembers. "Barbara handled things in her own way. I withdrew. I didn't want to be hurt again like I was hurt when Danny died."
"Finally, our counselor told us flat out there was nothing more he could do for us," Barbara remembers. "He recommended that we look into a program that could offer us more--the Adolescent Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) at Loma Linda University Behavioral Medical Center."
Designed as a treatment option for teens who are acting out severely, IOP aims not only to meet the needs of the patient, but to bring healing to the entire family.
"I was impressed initially when they began taking our family's history--with the amount of information they took," recalls Barbara. "They were so involved right off. I thought to myself, 'maybe we'll have a chance to get to the heart of this.'"
Since Andy had no desire to participate in the program, his parents gave him an ultimatum--participate in IOP or spend time in a long-term heavily supervised facility. Since the second option sounded grim, Andy changed his mind--he would try the IOP.
On the first night of their attendance at IOP, Susan Diehl-Hagerman, MSW, IOP supervisor, pulled the Wascoe family to the center of the room and asked this question, "Are you willing to commit 100 percent to your son's recovery?"
"When we left that evening, I had hope. I felt like they were going to involve and heal the whole family," Barbara recounts.
Each session dealt with a different issue. Structured in a group setting, families talk out and solve problems with the help of a counselor. Before leaving, each person present is encouraged to communicate with group members.
"They put each issue on a level we could understand and then broke it down," describes Barbara. "Although sometimes we felt limp and emotionally exhausted, we also felt hopeful. Each session gave us something to hang on to, a new way to deal with a problem. Each was very intensive. Andy stated his side, and we stated ours. Just to hear Andy talking to us again was such a thrill."
The IOP lets teens talk without reprisal and retribution. "We found common ground," explains Tom. "Some things were negotiable, some were not. But IOP gave us the tools to work things out in a safe place."
Several weeks into the program came the turning point--Andy finally admitted to counselors that he was not dealing with his brother's death. Frightened that he would be passing the age of Danny when he died, Andy had turned to drugs to escape the guilt and grief of outliving his brother.
Together as a family, with help from IOP counselors, Tom and Barbara learned how to support Andy while he struggled to break loose from a drug-filled life.
Now 19 and drug-free, Andy works part-time and attends college. "Andy holds a lot of responsibility," tells his father proudly. "He's always busy."
"I cannot say how much this program did for all of us," Barbara expresses. "It healed the whole family, not just Andy, and taught us skills for the rest of our lives."
To help families maintain progress gained in the program, IOP offers the Aftercare program--an outlet they can turn to any time for guidance and advice. "We know we have the IOP if we need it. It is always a place we can go to," says Tom.
"Gratitude," Barbara reflects. "How can you find the words to thank the program and people who helped save your son's life?
The Loma Linda University Behavioral Medicine Center delivers advanced and inclusive mental health care through a multidisciplinary staff of psychiatrists, psychologists, physicians, nurses, social workers, chaplains, teachers, family therapists, counselors, and adjunctive therapists. This diverse team approach ensures sensitive, flexible, and personal treatment for each patient and his or her family in the least restrictive manner. For more information on BMC programs, please call (800) 752-5999.
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